Anger and IBD

It’s common to feel angry when diagnosed with IBD, and even for years afterwards. When I was first diagnosed, I didn’t understand the disease well, and I didn’t realize how it would affect my life. I knew I would no longer be able to eat the foods I loved. I would no longer be able to dance, and suddenly losing an activity I had loved since childhood made me feel lost and angry. I would have to spend less time with my friends, and when I went on trips I was constantly on edge, worrying that I would make a mistake and eat something that caused a flare-up. Over time, all these emotions have settled, and I’ve realized that the disease is manageable.

Even if you’re angry and frustrated about the situation, there isn’t much you can do but accept it. You have to experiment with medications, listen to doctors, and change your diet and fitness routine. You have to learn to lean on others because you can’t do it by yourself. You can’t shut people out. I used to spend most of my day in my room with the door shut because I wanted to avoid being around people. My anger made me want to lash out at those around me. My parents would hover over me as if I had become fragile, something they had never done before. My friends distanced themselves from me because they didn’t know what to do or how to comfort me. I could feel that everyone was nervous, and they were treating me differently than before.

This feeling will eventually pass. Your family and friends will become used to the disease and will stop asking you questions all the time. If you learn to accept the disease yourself, then they will too. The disease affects your body, so they will trust you when you tell them that you are okay.

Although I can’t give you advice about dealing with your anger when you are having a hard time accepting your disease, I can tell you you’re not alone. I’ve been through it as well. I sometimes still feel angry when I think about my situation, but I know there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have to try my best to get on with my day. This disease has become a part of my life: It doesn’t feel abnormal to have ulcerative colitis; it feels like it’s a part of me. Sometimes, accepting the anger is the only way to move forward.

This article gives four different ways to help cope with the anger that sometimes comes with IBD.

 


Talking to Your Friends about UC

Explaining to your friends what ulcerative colitis (UC) is, why you have it, and how it affects you can be difficult. UC can make you want to hide from everyone in the world, but that isn’t a realistic solution. At some point, you will have to open up to people about your disease. Doing so won’t be easy, but it definitely isn’t as hard as you think.

            The first people you may want to inform are your closest friends. You don’t want to have to hide your disease from the people that you love and trust the most. Because they are your closest friends, they will most likely be understanding and caring about the issue. They won’t bother you about it unnecessarily, and instead they will try to keep it in mind and make sure you are feeling okay. The more open and honest you are, the more easily they will comprehend your disease and the more likely they’ll be empathetic.           

In the case of telling friends that are not extremely close to you, the best course is often to tell them what you suffer from without going into too much detail. You can tell them what UC is and what the major problems are, but you don’t have to tell them everything if you are not comfortable doing so. If they ask you about your experience, be honest, but don’t feel like you have to open up completely. You should never feel obligated to tell someone about your UC if you don’t want to.

            When dealing with acquaintances, you should probably be more vague and general. Acquaintances don’t really need to know much about your UC if they don’t know you that well, and you probably don’t want to tell them much. Personally, I have always preferred to use the terms “stomach thing” or “autoimmune thing” to describe it to these people. When you say something like that, people tend to understand you don’t really want to go into detail.

            These tips may make explaining UC sound easy, but talking about your experiences with this disease is certainly not easy by any means. I do hope, however, that these tips can get you started on opening up to people. UC probably feels a little embarrassing to you, but others don’t tend to view it that way. They want to help and to understand you better. Most people will not judge you for having a disease you cannot control. Try your best to be honest, but if you aren’t comfortable, do not feel forced to say more than what’s necessary.